MIND DA NOISE: Four storms and a quad comm

MINDANAO (MindaNews / 16 November) — Four typhoons are looming on our country this week. Their names are baha, gutom, relief and ayuda.

Weather observers noted it is unusual to have four storms churning in the Western Pacific Ocean in Asia, but Pinoys replied this is normal, as their stomachs have been churning four times a day – pamahaw, paniudto, panihapon… ika-upat, midnight snack. 

Actually, the four storms that overlap in Pinoys’ lives are hunger, lack of money, joblessness and Facebook overload.

Pinoys are anxious of these coming storms, except for these DDS who joined their Tatay Digong facing his storm called the quad comm hearing last Tuesday.

The DDS are a confused lot. They pray a lot for the protection of Tatay Digong, a person who calls God stupid and believes in going to Hell for his bloody war on drugs. Imagine God answering their prayers: Him? Dele lang.

They also seems to be saying: bahala na naay bagyo, basta safe si Tatay Digong, ug ang among Gcash balance.

Tatay Digong lasted 12 hours of intense questioning from House members. That is the longest he went without cursing. 

But despite not cursing, he still let out spurts of violent storms, like trying to throw a microphone at his constant tormentor, former senator Antonio Trillanes IV.  We know Tatay Digong could throw invectives on the mic, but this is the first time he is using the mic literally as a weapon.

The House updated that no microphones were hurt during the course of the session.

The quad comm hearing ended near midnight, but Tatay Digong was rumored to hold a second round of midnight rants to let out all the cuss words he contained for 12 hours. Perhaps that triggered the typhoons; he is in the eye of the storm.

Contrary to his detractors, Tatay Digong did not collapse from the exhausting 12-hour hearing. On the other hand, his spiritual adviser and kumpare detained preacher Apollo Quiboloy was rushed to the hospital early this week because of a heart problem. People are shocked that the preacher still has that.

DDS has a missed opportunity to push for Quiboloy’s release. He is the only Pinoy to claim he could “Isthap” calamities by invoking his power as the owner of the universe. Right now he is busy with his new designation as owner of the detention cell and hospital room.

Spotted during the hearing was Vice President Sara, who was there to remind House members to let her Tatay go home by midnight, or else he’ll transform and eat some bones for midnight snacks.

It was also surprising to see VP Inday in the House as she seems to have developed an allergy to attend hearings involving speaking the truth. She’ll rather hold her own press conference where she could whip out her storm of calamitous quotes.

Well, VP Inday herself said it, there’s no honesty in politics. Which reminds us to remind her fanatics, Sara is spelled without an H.

Speaking of which, VP Sara’s ratings from the latest OCTA survey finds her trust and satisfaction ratings lower than ever. It’s at 52%.  It’s even lower than her favorite whipping boy’s, House Speaker Martin Romualdez, and Senate President Chiz Escudero’s.

If surveys show Chiz has higher approval ratings now, wouldn’t it be nice if he would be the next president? Then we have a First Lady who is named Heart. 

We pray for everyone’s safety and preparedness in the face of the storms.

PS. Pray for everyone’s safety too from politicos who will float or fly their way to give ayuda to calamity areas for the views and the votes. Lord, matuwad unta sila sa ilang masakyan nga rafts.

(Mind Da Noise is a column by jaded Mindanawon observers.)