MIND DA NOISE: 2025 post-election report: Duterte dynasty and bloodbath

(MindaNews / 23 May) – What did the midterm elections show us?

It’s a colorful country.

Bong Go was number one in all of the provinces in Mindanao.

Mindanao turned green.

Bam Aquino turned most of Luzon pink by topping most of the provinces.

Imee Marcos is…uh, red, itim? She topped Ilocos Region kasi.  It’s always Solid North.

Mindanao is solid south. Bong Go, the Duterte alalay and Duterte whisperer, got all the votes from Mindanao.

Mindanao voted for green, the only green you get to see in Mindanao where forest cover is balding because of massive logging and recent large-scale mining activities.  China is turning Surigao bald. 

Bong Go by the way is starting a dynasty.  His son won as vice mayor, unopposed(!), in Lupon, Davao Oriental.  His cousin won as board member.  Enter the Go Dynasty! China is waving in Davao Oriental.

The top three winners in the Senate are Bong. Bam. Bato. Sounds like child’s play.

Bong. Bam. Bato.

Malasakit, Edukasyon, ICC.

If you look at it, health and education are key issues. So, voters are now aware that these issues matter. A lesson to entertainers that dancing the budots and giving away jackets no longer click with the voting populace. 

As to why Bato is number three, I think the public still needs comic relief. Robin Padilla, the previous number one senator, needs a tandem in the committee of diversion and Duterte-splaining.

So who won the Senate race?

BBM’s party had five winners: Tulfo, Sotto, Lacson, Cayetano, Lapid

Among Sara’s picks, five made it: Go, Bato, Marcoleta.  You may add Imee and Camille

Pink landed two: Bam and Kiko

Like we said: it’s a colorful Senate.

But as Sara said, she wants the impeachment to be a bloodbath.

Itim talaga ang balak nito, pupula ang hukuman sa Senado. 

Actually, inunahan na siya ni BBM sa bloodbath, pina-resign niya lahat ng kaniyang kabinete.  

***

By calling all cabinet members to resign, the public is shocked. It was the first time the public knew who his cabinet members were. Meron pala siyang mga cabinet members at meron na silang na-accomplish.

Can BBM also r***** to check his loyalty?  

He wants unity with Dutertes. He wants peace. We want our bente pesos na bigas.

***

In Davao City, it’s solid Duterte. Five Dutertes are elected into office.

Tatay Digong makes history for serving as two mayors at the same time: in Davao and in the ICC detention cell.

Pulong slashes away his opponents and gets reelected as congressman. He is now pushed by sister Sara to take a stab into the leadership in the House.

Baste knows he is a winner, so he just slept his way to victory. 

Tatay Digong’s grandsons Omar and Rigo won in their very first attempts in local elections. They simply carried one word in their campaign platform: Duterte.

Don’t’ be surprised, there are now eight Dutertes in public office.  Aside from the five who won the election, Pulong’s wife January is the incumbent councilor as president of the Association of Barangay Chairpersons. Then there’s VP Sara. 

The eighth Duterte is VP Sara’s cousin Harold Duterte, who is the first nominee for the Pwersang Pilipinong Pandagat (PPP) Partylist which won one seat for him.  As to whether he is a seaman or a fisherfolk, that will be proven if he could wade his way through Davao floods.

For the rest of the country, eight Dutertes is a fat dynasty, but for Dabawenyos this is called destiny.  Either you get submerged in Davao floods or by the deluge of Dutertes in office, God save Davao. Take the Duterte plunge.

(Mind Da Noise is a column by jaded Mindanawon observers.)