BATANG MINDANAW: Empathy

DAVAO CITY (MindaNews / 20 June) – Is being an empath a gift or a curse? A question I have yet to answer, but what I do know is that it is never easy. Best believe I’m writing this right now with an ache in my heart and a pair of puffy eyes. Sometimes, I’d fool myself into numbing my feelings toward news that I hear or see on social media—breaking news there, breaking news here. By the end of the day, I’d find myself in a whirlpool of mixed emotions. A normal person would say I’m overreacting. Is it so bad to feel so much? Is it better, then, to feel little? And there I am, pondering: where do I put these feelings? All I can do is overthink, cry, and overthink again.

One story in particular made me weep in buckets for hours—it was about a father and son whom I stumbled upon on TikTok two days ago. I had just gotten home from my internship in MindaNews, and I swiftly flopped on the floor to get a much-needed rest along with my daily doom scrolling. Lo and behold, I saw their picture—both of them smiling so brightly it instantly caught my attention. It had been posted by a netizen who happened to be riding the same jeep as them, hoping to share their story and touch the hearts of viewers.

The young boy, about 12 years old, asked the netizen, “Ate, picture-an mo kami ni Tatay, naka-iPhone ka?” The netizen immediately took a picture of them. Then the boy said, “Sana nakikita ni Tatay yung mukha ko,” and added, “Ate, ‘pag nagka-cellphone ako, pasa mo sa akin yung pic namin ni Tatay, wala pa kami pic kasi wala kami cellphone.” (Ate, take a photo of me and Father, do you have an iPhone? Ate, once I get a cellphone, send to me my photo with Father, we don’t have a photo yet because we don’t have a cellphone.)

The interaction garnered thousands of views to the point that the comment section was flooded with statements of wanting to reach out to send some help. Apparently, they were in that jeep to beg for the boy’s school supplies for the upcoming school year.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I thought of them over and over again, prayed for them, I even sent some support through GCash, hoping that it would reach them. After a couple more cries, I ended up crying myself to sleep. When I woke up the next day, I did more research about them. To my surprise, they were already featured on a TikTok influencer’s YouTube video titled, “Ang Istorya ng Viral na Mag-amang Nagbebenta ng Empanada.”

This was after a netizen posted the two selling empanadas along the streets of Tondo, Manila. The post went viral due to the kid’s persistence to help his father, who has lost his eyesight. Thousands of viewers praised the boy’s hopeful demeanor and the hard work he and his father do to get by. I recalled the book that I read saying, “Some people have a different kind of metal in them that simply doesn’t melt.” These two have it.

This made me cry again. I thought to myself, “If only I had millions, I would give them the whole world.” I wanted to go to where they are and help them—alas, I’m stuck here on the other side of a mere device.

What’s more, when the kid was asked by the influencer in the YouTube video what his wish was, he quickly replied that the only thing he wants is to have more time with his father.

This, in turn, made me struggle more as an empath because I feel helpless. This is the most excruciating part: you want to help but you don’t know how to. You might—but for me, helping isn’t just some band-aid solution. I want it to be maintained. But I know the realities of life are far from that.

As I contemplated their story multiple times along with other people’s experiences that I’ve seen and understood, it felt like I was carrying this heavy weight in my heart and on my shoulders. I don’t know what came into me but it felt I was now obliged to do more with the opportunities that I have—to help more. Their story has widened my horizon to the truth of what most people experience and how hard it is to survive in a world that’s given you little to no opportunity.

As a Communication and Media Arts student, this has given me a clearer sense of purpose of what my degree truly is beyond the technicalities and careers—it’s to be able to submerge into people’s daily lives, learn from them, and be a source of human connection. To create stories that serve people’s truth. To make an impact so big that perhaps for a moment we set aside our differences.

So, is being an empath a gift or a curse? It is a curse that haunts me every day, but it is also a gift. To feel for and share with others is what makes us human, or rather, makes us better. Hence, I believe no matter how hazy or confused my journey in life would be, it is a privilege to be an empath, to connect with others’ joy and pain. A constant reminder that I don’t have to walk this journey just for myself. If I can’t do it for me, I’ll do it for them—for my family, for the father and son on that jeep, and for everyone out there fighting to make their lives better. I sincerely hope we all win.

(Marithe Franchesca C. Lalican, 21, is a third year BA Communication and Media Arts student from the University of the Philippines Mindanao. She is currently an intern at MindaNews.)