MIND DA NOISE: Humba in the budget

(We yield this space today to Caritaz  for this budget menu)

It’s Budget Season once again.

Walang control ang flood ng bariles ng humba o pork barrel!!!

Kaya, Pag-Usapan Uli Natin Ang  Pork And Other Corrupted Dishes!

——————————-

We have a new 2025 updated menu , with pusit, cochinillo,  kabab, pares at pancit as  new best sellers!

Despite the 2013 Supreme Court declaration that pork barrel (then known as PDAF) is unconstitutioal, it is still very much part of the National Budget  allocation debate until now … so, here’s how “pork” and other “dishes” are possibly being prepared from the “menu” I compiled since 2013…

Pick your choice from the Corrupted Menu:

BABOY PA RIN:

1. Horrifyingly Unlimited Money for Bossing and Allies (HUMBA)
2. Confidential Checklist of Inday’s Initiative Legalizing Largesse Operations (COCHINILLO)
3. Lawmakers Initiative for Emergency, Miscellaneous and Personal Outlay (LIEMPO)
4. Livelihood Empowerment for Countrywide Humanitarian Outlaw Network (LECHON)
5. Pinagandang Iligal na Gastusin (PIG)
6. Selective Enforcement of Budgetary Outlays (SEBO)
7. President’s Initiative for Good Governance CountrYwide (PIGGY))
8. Bossing’s Awesome Budget for Outstanding Allies of the Year (BABOY)
9. Countrywide Assistance for Special and Important Matters (CASIM)
10. Budget for Allies for Continuation of Party Dominance (BACON-PD)
11. Hearty Allocation of Money (HAM)
12. Budgetary Allocation for Crooks’ Outreach Nationwide (BACON)
13. Politician’s Allowance and Treasury Allocation (PATA)
14. Social Initiative for Service in Governance (SISIG)
15. President’s Overt Revenue Kickback (PORK).
16. President’s Outlay for Countrywide Handling of Emergency Rehabilitation for Opulence (POCHERO)
17. Outlay for the Interest of Ninong and Kinsfolk (OINK)
18. Countrywide Re-distribution of the Inherent Source of Patronage for the Yeomen President’s Allies, Toads and Associates (CRISPY PATA)
19. Legislative Allocation for Reform and Development (LARD)
20. Barangay Initiatives for New Allocations Granting Oversight On Non-Government Associations Nationwide (BINAGOONGAN)
21. Presidential Oversight for Relatives and Kin with Budgetary Entitlement from Legislative Largesse Yearly (PORK BELLY)
22. Budgetary Allocations for Government’s Nonsense but Endless Transactions (BAGNET)
23. Budgetary Allotment to Rehabilitate Bossing’s Extravagant Crooks, Underlings and Escorts (BARBECUE)
24. SALAPING PINAG AAGAWAN ng mga MANDURUGAS (SPAM)
25. People’s Outrage and Resentment over Congress’ Illegal Source and Acquisition of Wealth (PORC ISAW)
26. CHangeable and Insatiable CHARging Of Non-BUdgetary LArgesse and Kingly LAirs of Kins (CHICHARON BULAKLAK)

MAKI-BAKA DIN:

27. Kiboloy Aided Budget Apportioned Bi-Annually (KABAB)
28. Bridges, Excavations & Elevated Roads Fund (BEEF)
29. Budgetary Utilization for Literacy Assistance and Livelihood Opportunities (BULALO)
30. Budgetary Initiatives for Secretive Transactions Enhancing Kickbacks (BISTEK)
31. Presidential Allies’ Political Action and Initiative for Total Allocation of National Budget (PAPAITAN)
32. Procurement Anchored on Reverted Excessive Surplus (PARES)

SEAFOOD  AT VEGGIES:

33. Pondo Upang Suportahan Itinatagong Tongpats (PUSIT)
34. Government Outlay Line-itemized and Appropriated Yearly (GOLAY)
35. Fund Integration for Social Housing (FISH)
36. Budget Appropriated by the National Government Unscrupulously Swindled (BANGUS)
37. Specialized Allocation for Legislators Amelioration and Dalliances (SALAD)

SARI-SARI

38. Countrywide Universal Priority Initiatives Treasury (CUPIT) Fund
39. Totally New Government PDAF Audited to Satisfaction (TONGPATS)
40. National Assistance Program of Lawmakers Engaged in Swindling (NAPOLES)
41. Holistic Lawmaking for Development of All Filipinos (HOLDAF)
42. Countrywide Allocations With Accountability and Transparency (CAWAT)
43. National Allotment for Countryside Amelioration and Welfare (NACAW)
44. Bossing Allies Development Budget Overage Yearly (BAD BOY)
45. Countrywide Outreach and Rehabilitation Assistance Fund (CORAF)
46. National Allotment for Countrywide Amelioration and Welfare Initiative Fund (NACAWIN FUND)
47. Total Reallocation of Assistance for Political Objectives (TRAPO)
48. House Appropriation for Yearly Overpriced Projects (HAYOP)
49. Government Allocations Rerouted to All Political Allies and Leaders (GARAPAL)
50. Budgetary Utilization for Government Officials’ Kickbacks (BUGOK)
51. Budget Utilization for Selfishness and Own Gratification. (BUSOG)
52. PANCIT – Presidential Account for Nebulous Confidential Intelligence Trainings.

[MindaViews is the opinion section of MindaNews. Mind Da Noise is a column by jaded Mindanawon observers.  Today’s author, Caritaz, is a budget reform advocate, an insider in the national budget-making process for many years. He never agreed with what the chefs were cooking and never tasted their forbidden dishes. But he loves real humba (humok nga baboy)]