MIND DA NOISE: Duterte’s Plan B

Duterte’s Plan B is underway, given that Plan A, VP Sara, is now sliding into Plan I – impeachment, and TROs.  Might as well go to Plan B, as in B as in Baste.

Baste Duterte, who is the now-you-see-now-you-don’t mayor of Davao, nowadays talks and sounds like his Tatay, angry like his Tatay. He taunts his opponent like his Tatay and chickens out from a fight like his Tatay.

But Baste is primed, as he is now elected president of PDP Laban, and leads a coalition called RAGE.

PDP Laban no longer stands for Partido ng Demokratikong Pilipino. It now stands for Pangulong Duterte Pa rin, which is now the theme song of the party which they sang with raised fists. While everyone was singing, Baste was busy chewing gum. 

Maybe that’s his Plan B – Bubble gum. Bula-bula-bulaga.

Imagine, PDP Laban used to fight the Marcos dictatorship, and its theme song was “Bayan Ko.”   The lyrics “Ibon mang may layang lumipad” have now turned to “Bring Tatay home.”

The PDP Laban used to be an opposition party that fought the Marcos dictatorship.  

Now it’s a party of desperate people who want a position in the Senate. This includes two losing congressmen, another congressman with a failed solar power project, and a gasulito lawyer who sets fire on himself for defending crooked characters.

Then there is that RAGE coalition, which is an acronym for Reform Alliance for Good Governance and Accountability Coalition.

Question: what does E stand for? E-ccountability?  Why not RAGGA? Baste with his tattooed bad-boy aura projects that ragged vibe.

This shows that the education and literacy crisis has reached critical levels. The Dutertes are not only failing in accounting their funds, they are also failing in spelling. That explains VP Sara’s performance as education secretary.

Maybe RAGE should stand for :
Recycled Actors Good in Exaggeration

Repetitive Actions in the Guise of Empowerment

Anyway, how does the Marcos Jr. administration look at Baste who seemed primed to run for 2028 and even called for the head of BBM?

“I wouldn’t put too much weight on the words of Baste. Supot naman ’yan eh,” said DILG Secretary and waiting to be anointed admin bet Jonvic Remulla.

Ouch. What an answer. 

Just when Baste talks of taking off someone’s head, he gets kicked in the balls instead, if he has a pair of them, after chickening out from his own challenge of a fistfight.

And we’re not even discussing Madriaga’s claim that his Tatay called him “bading.”

Somewhere, ex-General Torre is laughing. Perhaps, even us, too. 

If we want good governance in 2028, it’s not gonna start with letter B or D. It starts with C – Change.

(Mind da Noise is a column by jaded Mindanawon observers.)